Experiencing brutal cold for a period of time every year keeps you humble
That’s why Californians are like that
Time to plastic over the windows for the season.
????? Why??????????
You put the plastic on the windows to stop the heat from leaking out of your house from between the panes, through the glass itself, and where the window is attatched to the rest of the house. This does make a drastic difference in the temeprature of your house and the amount of gas/electricity needed to keep it warm.
Some other Winter Things:
If you think there’s going to be an exceptionally deep freeze, you open up all the cabinets in the house to warm the air in there and keep the pipes from freezing/bursting.
If you’re going to be away for a while in winter, it’s adviseable to turn your water off to avoid the same.
Putting an electric Blanket between your topcover and bedsheet and pre-heating your bed for half an hour so you don’t get a chill going to bed.
Applying literal vasaline to your lips if you’re going to be in the cold for an extended time (more than 10-20 min, depending on latitude), becuase chapstick won’t cut it and your lips will split and bleed and HURT
Doing the same to your nose
Your tears go from liquid to gooey trying to produce a similar protection for your eyes. You can also feel the water freeze on your eyes if you step directly out into the cold.
Also since I know you’re a socal person- in the far north you can get as little as eight hours of daylight. 7AM to 3 PM. You need to by the most obnoxiously bright light possible and sit beside it or you will actually literally develop psychosis in some cases. It’s 4:30 and you need to take the dog out? it’s pitch black out.
Everything is covered in ice, which will alternately cause you to slip and break something, burn, or actually tear off your skin.
Christmas and the pressure to be jolly is much stronger in places with Winter. Get your Holly Jolly On In this Frozen Black Hellscape!!! It’s why people go real bananas on the holiday lights. they’re trying to stave off the void.
can confirm, the fancy reindeer and nativity sets the neighbors are sporting are an attempt to drive back the monochrome blahs of winter and are sometimes the only hint of color in a world of white, black and greys
Rational brain: Not only do I not wear nail polish, but even when I did, I only ever wore black and just hoarded the other 20 colors I owned without using them. It’s a complete waste of money to buy any
Crow brain: Buy pretty shiny, bring home put in nest
When communicating to someone about a sensitive topic, I’ve found it’s helpful to explain why you want to talk about it. If you say you’re worried, or hurt, or just needed to get it off your chest, it can help the other person not get defensive and then more completely process what you’re saying.
Many relationships die by a thousand little cuts. Little problems that on their surface are penny-ante. But the real offense, the hurt, is unresolved. And the little hurts pile up and the resentment builds until things fall apart.
It’s very easy for people to read a bad intent when you’re communicating a problem. Sometimes it’s a natural defense mechanism, if you think someone is just being shitty then you don’t have to really hear them. But it can just as often simply be an incorrect assumption. Communicating your intent can stop that from happening and help the conversation come to a more fruitful resolution.
But if you break it down, your intent is not just a lubricant to keep the conversation productive. Your intent is the point of the conversation. More often than not the problems we have with each other are not the real issue, it’s how those problems make us feel. When you communicate your intent, you’re fully explaining the issue that needs to be resolved.
“I’ve been missing you, could you skip your TV show tonight so we can play a video game together?” works better than “You don’t give me enough attention.” or “you watch too much TV.”
Or “I suspect it’s just my anxiety, but I’m worried that you’re angry with me because you’ve been kind of quiet.” is better than just “Why are you so distant?”
For years I worried that we couldn’t discuss problems because it would cause a fight. That was how the world I lived in as a kid worked. Having a partner who is open to hearing you is huge, but choice of wording helps even when you have a partner who wants to hear you.
very good advice. it really helps when you give the other person something actionable. a request, a suggestion, an offer to brainstorm. don’t complain; troubleshoot.
you don’t have to be emotionless or conciliatory. it’s ok to express anger. just be mature about it, and respect the other person. don’t go on a power trip, don’t leverage your legitimate gripes to make them grovel. keep your eyes on the prize. if you don’t know what the prize is, the next step is to tell them so and invite them to help you figure it out, not to moan until they miraculously do the right thing at random. even when you’re super upset you can still apply these skills.
wrong: “this place is a damn landfill because nobody but me does any housework!”
right: “there is some serious housekeeping fail going on around here. it’s kinda driving me bugfuck. i want to sit down and take a look at how we do the housework, because how we’re doing it right now sucks.”
see how the second one doesn’t blame? blame’s not important. responsibility is important, but that has to be worked out calmly or it’s not going to be functional. the first person is picking a fight; the second person is trying to solve a problem. you’ll notice they’re not smoothing ruffled feathers or acting apologetic, they’re clearly quite annoyed. but they’re aiming their anger at the situation, not the person.
even if they are angry with their housemate, working those feelings out is beyond the scope of the conversation. trying to combine venting with chore planning is, imo, the number one cause of screaming kitchen fights on planet earth.
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