“Diabolik Lovers” Fancast! This is a revamped version of this post I made a very long time ago so don’t be surprised if this seems familiar. My friend @diabolikblooddoll helped me out a lot when it came down to choosing the actors so go check out her blog for more DL cotent!
Y’all this old lady on Facebook got angry at me so she threatened to call my job and report my “rude” behavior to my boss. So she got my information from my page
SHE GONNA TRY TO CALL MR.KRABS ON ME YALL
SHE GONNA TRY TO CONTACT BIKINI BOTTOM
She is going to call a phone number and ask, “Is this the Krusty Krab?”
And the person who answered the phone will have a choice to make.
Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick???
Ok so picture this I’m 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this
And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he’s pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in… But something is wrong. He’s about to enter….
The. Wrong. Hole.
And my eyes widen, I go to shout “noooo!!!!” But it’s all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet.
We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I’m in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, “I am going to pass out.”
He doesn’t know I’m serious, he thinks I’m just being emotional, and he’s like “no baby come here” but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground.
He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I’m dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex.
SIMONE I AM YELLING
Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn’t make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all.